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In about 90% of bird families, mom and dad bird share parenting duties. And now this earth shattering news from pre-historic days. It seems the 21st century dad has nothing on Tyrannosaurus and Allosaurus.
DINOSAUR DAY CARE DADS
A new study shows some male dinosaurs may have been the primary caretakers of their young
Here is more information on eliminating what appears to be the worst plastic in your drawer: BPA or Bisphenol-A.
BPA is a chemical compound used to make polycarbonate plastic. BPA has been linked to cancer, infertility, obesity, and diabetes. In animal studies, BPA has been found to cause the early onset of puberty and stimulate mammary gland development in females (Richter et al., (2007) Reprod. Tox, Vol 24(2) p. 199).
Common items containing BPA are plastic food containers, reusable water bottles, baby bottles, and the linings of canned foods. These are usually marked with plastic number “7″. The “7″ identifies “other” plastics including all BPA-based items.
How can you reduce exposure to BPA without overly inconveniencing your family life?
1) Avoid microwaving plastic containers, which may cause BPA to break down and leach out more.
2) Avoid washing plastic containers in the dishwasher or with harsh detergents, which can also cause BPA to break down and leach out more. Hand wash them instead with a mild detergent.
3) Switch to BPA-free plastic baby bottles, sippy cups, and water bottles. Look for plastics marked “1″ containing Polyethylene Terephthalate (PETE) which is considered safe.
4) Use wax paper instead of plastic wrap, especially when microwaving. If you must use plastic wrap,look for brands that are BPA-free such as Ziploc, Glad and Saran.
To learn more about BPA and plastics:
http://jama.ama-assn.org/cgi/content/extract/300/11/1353
http://www.enviroblog.org/2008/03/bpa-questions-answered.htm
http://pediatrics.about.com/od/hiddendangers/a/0108_env_chmcls.htm
Thanks to the French American International School in San Francisco for this information and links.
We’ve been working on trying to throw out as much plastic as we can. We just got this set of Pyrex storage bowls - $29.95 at Amazon to replace all those old tupperware style plastic containers since microwaving and heating plastics appears to be the worst thing you can do. We still have not figured out how to send food to school with our four-year-old since glass will break and everything else will likely get lost within a week. Plastic is disposable and low cost, difficult benefits to give up.
I guess the mom was screening for head size and not total body length. She’s lucky she didn’t have a five foot long baby though, with this history.
CHIFENG, China, Nov. 19 (UPI) — The world’s tallest man, who hails from China’s Inner Mongolia autonomous region, said he has become the world’s tallest dad at the age of 58.
Bao Xishun, who stands at 7 feet and 9 inches tall, said his newborn son, Tianyou, was born at an average 22-inch height, The Sun reported Wednesday.
this story resonated with me. As Frank Perdue used to say, “It takes a tough man to make a tender chicken.” In the case of stay-at-home whatevers, it takes someone with endurance to handle the drudgery of baby routine punctuated by the magic moments. The following is from a stay-at-home dad’s experience as the “primary caregiver,” which he feels often leaves him the odd man out.
Does this sound like a rough day? Not necessarily, but that’s the point. Staying at home is a marathon, not a sprint. Stay-at-home moms need to string together months and years of such days. Their strength lies in their ability to store vast reserves of the energy, patience, resilience, and affection required to raise a child. Marathoners need a healthy heart, and so do stay-at-home moms.
[From Among the stay-at-home moms, a dad in disguise | csmonitor.com]
Here in San Francisco, when a man stays at home, or just shows up at all the school functions, everyone assumes he made a bundle in the internet boom and doesn’t have to work. Staying at home is looked on as a glorified form of sloth, reward for what may or may not have been a lot of hard work. For the rest of us, who have to make hard choices with our spouses on who is best positioned to work at a “real job,” it may end up feeling like a lucky reward, but it usually doesn’t start out that way on the first day.
This headline gave me shivers. Whenever I see these stories in the paper, it’s hard not to conjure up images of little babies hurt by those meant to be there to protect them. Often, they haunt me for hours or days after reading. And, if can’t handle the stories, how can a child reconcile them.
What do you tell a child who asks how a father can murder his two children and their mother? Child psychologists say the answer depends on how old the child is and how much he is capable of understanding.
“Such a situation confronts a child with a loss of innocence,” said Binyamina Shilo, a senior educational and developmental psychologist. “The older they are, the more this situation frightens them.”
[From What does a parent say when a child asks: How can a dad kill his children? - Haaretz - Israel News ]
As this article points out, kids under six are rarely phased by these stories. They are the stars in their little worlds and outside news is completely inconsequential. Older kids fear for the what the stories mean to their own framework of trust. Psychologists point out that you need to reassure them on several scores. First, that you don’t understand it either. That it is such a rare thing that the person must be completely sick in a way that almost never occurs. Second, that the news media plays these stories up, as they do with child kidnappings, not because they happen all the time, but because they are rare and sensational. Our kids need to be aware that bad things happen, but that they hopefully are very very rare in the safe environments we try to create for them.
This article is getting a lot of attention in the daddy world, and even among moms.
Sorry, no dads.
That’s the message a Clayton Hills father got when he tried to join the activities of the Cloverdale Mommy & Me Meetup group.
Rick Kaselj is a registered kinesiologist and father of Cole, his infant son. A relative newcomer to Surrey, Kaselj was looking for opportunities to meet people in his neighbourhood when he discovered the group online.Rick Kaselj and his Cole are looking for a new place to meet other parents and children.
“My wife and I just had our first child. She works days and I work evenings, so I’m a part-time stay-at-home dad. I found this group online two or three months ago and signed up.”
Since then, Kaselj said, he’s been getting the emails sent out to group members announcing events the organizers have put together for members and their children.
Other commitments meant he didn’t have time to attend any events until recently, but when he expressed interest in joining in on the fun, the door was slammed shut.
“I received an email this morning or last night saying I’m not welcome,” Kaselj said.
“I was hoping to participate with them, but I’m not welcome because I’m a dad.”
The email, signed Cloverdale Mothers Group, apologetically informed Kaselj that more than half of the members want the group to be for mothers only.
“I hate to discriminate,” the author went on, “but hope you can understand when it comes to the security of our children and especially since you have not been able to attend a meetup.”
Kaselj wonders why something wasn’t said earlier when he first joined online and is really puzzled about the reference to the security of the other members’ children.
“I’m not sure what that means,” he said.[From Moms club to Surrey dad: we 'hate to discriminate, but...']
The moms were clearly within their rights to say, “Who are you? You’ve missed all the meetings, but now you want to interact with our kids.” We don’t know what event he was volunteering for. However, it turns out they don’t just want to get to know him, they don’t want him at all. The explanation is that they talk about women’s issues, and they wouldn’t feel comfortable with him around. (Hmmm, where have I heard that logic before?).
There is a bigger issue going on here. It’s how we socialize men to be caregivers rather than keeping them on the outside. We don’t want men hanging around playgrounds because we don’t trust them alone with our kids. Part of that is because we don’t usually allow or promote a role of men as active parents and child care providers. In turn, men are confused about how to act around kids. Sadly, in a some rare cases, men, as well as women, are not to be trusted, but it’s not by shutting everyone out that you’ll eventually get safer.
This piece by New York Times contributor Aron Ward was interesting for several reasons. First, I was amazed that he was very frank about his feelings about childcare and the stay-at-home role. It’s neither the hardest thing in the world, nor the most surprisingly pleasurable:
To tell the truth, my favorite part of the day was when she came home and I could get a break, but I also liked the mornings. Jackson was happiest during those hours. We would play and then maybe look at a book about colors together.
[From Preoccupations - Male Bonding (Or How Dad Lost 30 Pounds) - NYTimes.com]
Rather, it’s a mixture of the tedious and boring, along with the magical moments of establishing a real relationship with your child. Once Mr. Ward goes back to work, he’s more aware of what he’s mssing
Still, it was hard leaving Jackson with someone else that first day. I can relate to how mothers who return to work must feel. He and I bonded that year. But by the end of his first week in day care, Jackson didn’t want to leave when I went to pick him up.
I’m glad to be back at work, but I miss the baby. It’s hard not knowing his routine, but I know he’s being well taken care of. I also miss walking the mall with him. I’ve put on a few pounds since I’ve returned to work. I’ve also stayed friends with a couple of the guys in the stay-at-home dads group, and our families get together occasionally. I don’t know one of them who would trade for the world the experience of being at home with their kids.
I love my kids to death, but there are days when the thought of packing one more lunch or sitting by the piano during practice for one more half hour sends me right to the edge. And then I’m back again, ready for one more day of living my life right next to them.
I often say that I feel sorry for poor folks, many dads, who somehow leave a baby in the back of the car and go somewhere to do errands. “There but for the grace of God,” I think. We all live hectic lives and can be overstressed and do incredibly stupid things. I use these examples as cautionary tales about what could happen if you don’t watch the kids in the pool or let them play in the street. Life is very fragile, and everything in your life can change faster than you can say, “If only I had…”
Then there are stories like this one which just are simply shocking. Is it too patronizing to say that some people should not have children?
MYRTLE BEACH, SC (WMBF) - A Myrtle Beach man is out of jail Friday on child endangerment charges after police say he left his baby girl sitting in a parked car while he got a lap dance.
[From WIS News 10 - Columbia, South Carolina | Dad leaves baby in car, goes into strip club]
Is Motherhood sacred? Is Demi Moore a mother? Is Demi Moore sacred? Are breasts sacred? Is “The Office” sacred? These are all questions being debated with the recent issue of Pregnancy (November 2008) which celebrates Melora Hardin (Jan in The Office) and her pregnancy. We’ll all have to keep guessing whose hands those are over her soon-to-be nursing boobies (Michael’s?), or whether this is just a good photoshop effort. 
The New York Times reports on parents who are foregoing the first year of school, usually known as kindergarten, for a looser, experience-based at home schooling experience.
They are part of a community of like-minded parents who are opting to enrich rather than formally educate their not-yet-school-age children (6 is the age that New York City law requires parents to register their children as home-schooled). They discovered one another through the New York City Home Educators Alliance (nychea.org), a home-schooling bulletin board.
…theirs is an ad hoc, day-by-day exploration into what it means to be a stay-at-home parent and child in an accelerated culture like New York. In a city where the race to be on top can start in infancy, the disconnect between these parents’ choices and the New York City norm is vast, as Ms. Rendell learned recently.
If I had the time and flexibilty, this sounds like an ideal way to continue those care-free years of babyhood on through age 6, with benefits for both mom or dad and for the child.
